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Funny Christmas Cards

Check out our meme-tastic funny Christmas cards that will crack up your friends and family on Xmas day.

Includes classics like:

  • Kath & Kim wishing your a NOICE Christmas
  • Naked Santa laying on his present (his d**k—geddit?)
  • Old mate who loves to get a VB up him at 20 to 8 in the morning
  • Baby Yoda wishing you a Merry Christmas like the confused little goblin that he is
  • Musical cards that don’t stop when opened, and then smash you with glitter when you break them

Our funny Xmas cards are a big hit with our customers, because they add a little bit of cheeky rudeness to the day and make your friends and family chuckle. They’re suitable for anyone with a good sense of humour: your dad, mum, brother, sister, even your grandma. Give them a unique Christmas card this year and lighten the mood on Xmas day.

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Let It Snow Scarface ❄️🤌 - Christmas Card

Let It Snow Scarface ❄️🤌 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95
Drink Up Grinches 😈🎄 - Christmas Card

Drink Up Grinches 😈🎄 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95
Kath & Kim Christmas 😈🎄 - Christmas Card

Kath & Kim Christmas 😈🎄 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95
Super Christmas 🍄🎅 - Christmas Card

Super Christmas 🍄🎅 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95
Merry Cagemas Saint Nicholas 🤪🎅 - Christmas Card

Merry Cagemas Saint Nicholas 🤪🎅 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95
Sold out
Ya Filthy Animal 🎅 - Christmas Card

Ya Filthy Animal 🎅 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95
Baby Yoda Christmas 👶🎄 - Christmas Card

Baby Yoda Christmas 👶🎄 - Christmas Card

Sale price$7.95

Funny Xmas cards

Picture this: an pristine winter setting with a quaint cottage, light smoke rising from the chimney. A perfectly-constructed snowman, and a red robin nestled into its shoulder, happy that Christmas is here.

HOW BORING IS THAT. And sooo not a funny Christmas card. Our cards are not like this at all. We don’t want people to open one of our cards, glance at the idyllic Christmas image they’ve seen thousands of times and then instantly forget about it. We want them to tear open the envelope and see Santa’s exposed buttocks, and laugh as he insinuates that he is your present. We want you to chuckle at our puntastic Rock jokes, at the fact that there’s nothing but hoes in your house, or a bin chicken who wants nothing more than to get trashed this Christmas. That’s memorable, and something that makes Christmas a little more funny and special. Laughter is a gift from the gods, and our number one goal is to provide a little more of it in people’s lives each Christmas. Our funny cards for Christmas are cheeky, irreverent, and sometimes a little bit lewd—everything you need to make Christmas a bit more enjoyable and downright HILARIOUS!


Some of the best funny Christmas cards in Australia

A funny Xmas card is suitable for pretty much anyone in your family or friendship circle who have a good sense of humour. That includes your dad, mum, brother, sister, or even your grandma. They could be for your best mate, your not-so-best mate, your work colleague, or someone else who would rather tear open a Christmas card that makes them chuckle. We hate blank faces. We want to see smiles on Christmas day, which is exactly what our cards aim to do. Spread some Christmas cheer!


Naughty Christmas cards you’ll love

While our Christmas cards definitely have the colours and themes you’d expect to find, they are no ordinary specimens. We have a selection of some of the most unique Christmas cards you’ll find, featuring some of Australia’s (and the world’s) funniest memes, celebrities, and jokes—instantly recognisable, and undeniably hilarious. You won’t find these unique cards anywhere but Spicy Baboon.

If you’ve got the devil in you, we even sell some of the best prank musical Christmas cards in Australia that blast people with sound. And guess what? There’s no off button. That means three to six hours of the most annoying Christmas jingles from musical Christmas cards you’ve ever heard in your life, until the battery dies. And if the person tears the card open to try to break the speaker, a ton of glitter will be dumped onto their laps. Glitter Christmas cards are the (glitter) bomb! The only thing you’ll need to worry about is getting the thing on video for social media. Glorious!


Unique Christmas cards - bring a little cheekiness to Christmas

One of the biggest themes of our naughty Christmas cards (and our cards in general) is their mischievousness. The memes, jokes, and cultural references we choose for our cards are selected purely for their impish comedy, because being bold and brash is much funnier than being safe and straightlaced. They bring laughter and joy into your Christmas day—the tongue in cheek, irreverent kind. Whether it’s Mike Tyson wishing you a “Merry Chrithmith” or old mate telling you to get a VB up ya, our cards tap into people’s devilish side and will have everything laughing.


How did Christmas cards even start?

Christmas cards are such a strong tradition in Australia, it makes you wonder how it all started. The very first Christmas card is believed to have been sent by German doctor Michael Maier to James I of England and his son Henry Frederick (the Prince of Wales) in 1611. The card was hand-made (as you’d expect—there were no factories back then), and included a lovely message that honoured the two royals and wished to celebrate the “Birthday of the Lord.” Lovely.

As for the first Christmas card that could be purchased and sent to people, that was created by a British inventor named Sir Henry Cole in 1843. The design was by John Callcott Horsley, who created a picture of a family toasting the person who received the card, as shown below. Believe it or not, the people drinking wine in the image were considered controversial—imagine what they would have thought of Spicy Baboon’s cards!

Believe it or not, the people drinking wine in the image were considered controversial—imagine what they would have thought of Spicy Baboon’s naughty Christmas cards from Australia!

When the idea caught on, many more Christmas cards were created and sold by different companies. But they didn’t include the traditional Xmas scenes you might expect from modern cards, instead opting for fairies, flowers, and other whimsical designs that helped to remind people of the approach of Spring, as though Christmas wasn’t really anything to be bothered about. Boo!


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Funny Christmas Cards Australia — FAQs

1. How long will it take for my novelty Christmas card to arrive?

We offer flat rate shipping to our Australian and NZ customers, with free
delivery over $99 for the Aussies! (We gotchu, besties)

Australia:

• Domestic Envelope Small* (4-8 Business days) = $3.95
• Domestic Envelope Large* (4-8 Business days) = $5.95
• Standard Shipping (4-8 Business days) = $8.95
• Express Shipping (2-3 Business days) = $12.95

*Domestic Envelope Services only available with cards and stickers, depending on total quantity.

New Zealand:

• Standard Shipping (8-15 Business days) = $15.00

We try to get our cards out as quickly as possible. But to ensure yours arrives on time, we recommend ordering it as early as you can.

2. Can I return one of your Christmas cards?

You sure can, provided it's been 14 days or less since you purchased it. And of course, it needs to be unused and in its original condition. We’ll be happy to provide you with a full refund if you meet these requirements.

3. Who designs your funny Xmas cards?

Our marketing baboons come up with the clever ideas for our naughty Christmas cards. Every few years we put them into a room together, throw in loads of bananas and assorted nuts, and lock the door for 12 hours. When we unlock the door, they almost always emerge with a series of hilarious new ideas. Except in 2016. But we don’t like to talk about that.
Once we have our ideas, our design baboons create the graphics in Monkeyshop or Illustrator or whatever it is they use. They only do it once though because they are strongly against making any kind of change to their designs, and we haven’t been able to persuade them otherwise. They do an excellent job regardless.
Finally, when our naughty Christmas cards are made up and ready for printing, we send them to our Aussie printing partner who produces immense batches of them, ready to be sold to you. You can find all of these cards listed above, and we try to come up with new designs fairly frequently.

4. What are your funniest and most unique Christmas cards?

We’re not about to tell you what’s funny and what isn’t—pick a card that you think the person will like the most! But if we had to choose, we’d probably select our boozy bin chicken because they’re not only an Aussie trash-loving icon, but the card also contains a glorious pun. And if there’s one thing we like, it’s puns. And these are the ultimate in funny Australian Christmas cards.
Coming in close second is naked Santa coyly suggesting that his d**k is your Christmas present. Who the hell wouldn’t laugh at that? Unluckily for you, he only comes once a year. Unless you can give him some extra encouragement. It could turn out to be a really really good Christmas, especially if Santa decides to get his elves involved.

5. Can I pick up my naughty Christmas cards locally?

If you’re a Brisbane-ite, yessiree! We’re based in the Gabba. All you need to do is select “pick up” as your delivery method and we’ll send an email when your order’s ready to be collected. Simple as.

6. Do you ship internationally?

Absolutely! Unfortunately, we can’t offer flat rates as shipping costs and
estimated delivery time frames are dependent on which country we’re sending our
products to, but fill up that cart and we’ll do the maths for you!

As mentioned earlier, we get much busier as certain holidays approach, and things
like international postal and customs delays are very much out of our control,
so be sure to order well ahead of time for any international deliveries.

7. How can I get in touch with Spicy Baboon?

Our phones are manned on weekdays 9 am- 4 pm – outside these hours (or if
you’re a Millennial who hates talking on the phone), you can reach us via email
at support@spicybaboon.com

WTF IS SPICY BABOON!?

Glad you asked! We're just a bunch of Aussie mates who saw a gap in the market for frikin’ hilarious gifts and apparel with outrageous designs. It started as a bit of fun and whilst that fun hasn't gone away, we’re now busier than a one armed bricklayer in Baghdad! You’ve all got a wicked sense of humour and we’re gonna keep on delivering the spice for many years to come!

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