As a scorching hot beer-drinking nation, Australia is the undisputed king of stubby coolers. And if you’re going to put a jacket on your beer, it may as well be something hilarious. That’s why we made our collection of funny stubby holders—because beer and jokes go hand in hand!
We love all things irreverent, and we include all varieties on our funny stubbie holders. You’ll find the VB drinking council worker, masturbatory fishing jokes (who knew there was such a thing), Coronavirus quips, Simpsons gags, and plenty more. There’s something for everyone with our funny stubby holders, and they’re sure to be loved by the blokes in your family, or in your circle of mates.
Dads, brothers, and mates our love our stubby holders
Some blokes might be happy with stubby coolers that show their favourite hobby or a local company, but we say that’s bloody boring. If you know someone who is a regular booze drinker who likes to relax on the weekend with a cold one, add a bit of comedy to their life with a “Be Mein” Hitler cooler, a “Save Water, Drink Beer” cooler, or a spicy “Adios Bitchachos” cooler. They’ll be sure to make all of the lads or family laugh, whether they’re on a weekend camping trip, fishing on the lake, or caravanning around the country. Our coolers are excellent conversation starters, and a solid way to attract like-minded friends.
What are the best occasions for our stubby coolers?
Who even needs an occasion? You can buy one of our funny stubby coolers just to show your dad that you love him, you big old softy. Otherwise, our stubby coolers are great for Christmas, Father’s Day, and birthdays—any day where you have to buy a bloke a pressie. Of course, we have a few stubby holders for the ladies too. We’re not sexist mate.
Bottle and can sizes for our stubbie holders
Our stubbie holders are designed to fit all standard bottles and cans in Australia, which includes 250ml, 375ml (stubbies), and 750ml (long neck) bottle sizes, and 375ml cans. You’d have to buy the weirdest-shaped beers imaginable for them not to fit in our stubby holders. If you can find one, please get in touch so we can laugh at you.
Here are some beers that you might find in one of our stubby holders:
XXXX Golds, Great Northerns, VBs (get it up ya), James Boags, Tooheys, Coopers, Carltons, Furphys, Superdrys, Cascades, Little Creatures, James Squires.
Why our customers love our beer stubby holders
Look, life isn’t the easiest thing to get through. We’re launched into the world without our permission, expected to work until we’re grey and rickety, and then to top it all off, the grim reaper comes along and takes it all away again. That’s why the silly side of life is so important—it’s absolutely necessary for us to keep on chugging. Our funny beer stubby holders are just a small example of this attitude, and we are proud of making the world a slightly funnier and less serious place. It’s laugh or cry after all, and we choose laughter. That’s why our customers love our beer stubby holders, and keep on coming back for more.
What are stubby holders?
We’re a bit surprised you’re even reading this, but stubby holders are hollow, bottle-shaped moulded plastic that are used to cool drinks, usually alcohol. They use a material called neoprene, which has excellent insulation and slows the amount of cold that escapes from the bottle. It’s like a jacket if a jacket was made to cool you down, not warm you up. Or air conditioning for your booze.
Neoprene is cheap to make and is easily wrapped in cloth that can be printed on, which is why so many companies use them for their promotional materials. But they’re usually bloody boring—who wants a stubby holder from their local butchers? Not us. We like fun stubby holders, so we created loads of them.
Who invented the stubbie holder?
The invention of the stubbie holder is shrouded in mystery, which makes them even more bloody cool. Some say that the famous stubbie holder was invented right here in good old Australia by inventor Alex Lang, in the 1960s. Lang named his product the stubby holder after our stubby bottles. Others believe that it was created by the American company Radio Cap Corporation in 1991, who were the first to use neoprene as an insulation material, and only then did it come to Australia through an improved version by Shane Walsh (not to be confused with Shane Warne). The Americans called the product a koozie, which sounds bloody daft to us.
How to clean your stubby holder?
The best way to clean your stubby holder and keep the design intact is to wash it up in the sink, making sure to rinse it properly afterwards to prevent the soap from spoiling the design.
How to store stubby coolers?
There’s no special way to store your stubby coolers. Just put them in a cupboard somewhere and grab them whenever you need. The only thing you shouldn’t do is put heavy things on them like baking dishes or frying pans or hunks of cured meats. This will crumple up the stubby coolers and may ruin their designs, which would be a bloody disaster.
Places to take your stubby holder
I mean, you can take your stubby holder wherever the hell you like, but these are some of our favourite places to slot beers into them:
🦈 Fishing on the open ocean 🦈
Yanking in a monstrous snapper just wouldn’t feel right without a chilled beer by your side.
🔥 Family BBQs 🔥
It just isn’t possible to listen to your uncle’s awful stories without drinking at least three beers.
🏖️ Beach days 🏖️
We have over 12,000 beaches in this beautiful country, and they can be better appreciated with a cool beer in your hand. Just don’t leave your precious stubby cooler behind, for God’s sake.
🏡 On your deck or in your garden 🏡
You don’t have to travel far with your stubby holder. Your deck or garden will probably be where you use it the most.
🏕️ Camping Trips 🏕️
when you’re putting your camper trailer to good use around some isolated Queensland lake, that scorching sun will boil your beer in minutes (probably). So make sure you take your stubby holder with you. You should probably drive back home if you’ve forgotten it.
🛠️ While you’re fixing shit 🛠️
Tinkering with an engine, putting up a shelf, building a bloody dog house—all of these things are much better with beer, especially cold beer.
Other uses for our stubby coolers
We aren’t going to stand here and pretend that there are any other legitimate uses for our stubby coolers, but if you’re really bored, you can try using them for the following:
A spacious home for a small spider. It can make its web at the top of the stubby holder and catch as many delicious flies as it needs.
A handy place to store the thousands of 8mm screws you’ve collected over the years.
Sound-blocking devices to prevent your partner from talking to you. Just secure one stubby holder over each ear with duct tape (yes, duct tape. You don’t want it to fall off do you?)
