Your cart is currently empty.
No goodies in your cart yet? Letās fill it with some bangers:
š š ļø If youāre looking for a stubby holder that your old man will be proud to slot his beer into, youāve come to the right place. Weāve got the funniest stubby coolers you can buy in Australia, and no topic is taboo. Big Barryās gigantic member, Rabid Ray Grahamās ferocious dog impressions, and Aussie classics like āget that (VB) up ya,ā Kath & Kel going speedwalking, and āF**K ITāS HOT,ā youāre sure to find something that your dad will love. Or your grandad, your brotherāany self-respecting, beer-drinking bloke!
Our funny stubby holders are made with the best neoprene synthetic rubbersāthe same stuff they use to make wetsuitsāwhich will keep your dadās beers cold and his hands dry on the hottest bastard days. Theyāre tough and hilarious, which is exactly what most blokes want to be.
As a scorching hot beer-drinking nation, Australia is the undisputed king of stubby coolers. And if youāre going to put a jacket on your beer, it may as well be something hilarious. Thatās why we made our collection of funny stubby holdersābecause beer and jokes go hand in hand! We love all things irreverent, and we include all varieties on our funny stubbie holders. Youāll find the VB drinking council worker, masturbatory fishing jokes (who knew there was such a thing), Coronavirus quips, Simpsons gags, and plenty more. Thereās something for everyone with our funny stubby holders, and theyāre sure to be loved by the blokes in your family, or in your circle of mates.
Some blokes might be happy with stubby coolers that show their favourite hobby or a local company, but we say thatās bloody boring. If you know someone who is a regular booze drinker who likes to relax on the weekend with a cold one, add a bit of comedy to their life with a āBe Meinā Hitler cooler, a āSave Water, Drink Beerā cooler, or a spicy āAdios Bitchachosā cooler. Theyāll be sure to make all of the lads or family laugh, whether theyāre on a weekend camping trip, fishing on the lake, or caravanning around the country. Our coolers are excellent conversation starters, and a solid way to attract like-minded friends.
Who even needs an occasion? You can buy one of our funny stubby coolers just to show your dad that you love him, you big old softy. Otherwise, our stubby coolers are great for Christmas, Fatherās Day, and birthdaysāany day where you have to buy a bloke a pressie. Of course, we have a few stubby holders for the ladies too. Weāre not sexist mate.
Our stubbie holders are designed to fit all standard bottles and cans in Australia, which includes 250ml, 375ml (stubbies), and 750ml (long neck) bottle sizes, and 375ml cans. Youād have to buy the weirdest-shaped beers imaginable for them not to fit in our stubby holders. If you can find one, please get in touch so we can laugh at you.
Here are some beers that you might find in one of our stubby holders:
XXXX Golds, Great Northerns, VBs (get it up ya), James Boags, Tooheys, Coopers, Carltons, Furphys, Superdrys, Cascades, Little Creatures, James Squires.
Look, life isnāt the easiest thing to get through. Weāre launched into the world without our permission, expected to work until weāre grey and rickety, and then to top it all off, the grim reaper comes along and takes it all away again. Thatās why the silly side of life is so importantāitās absolutely necessary for us to keep on chugging. Our funny beer stubby holders are just a small example of this attitude, and we are proud of making the world a slightly funnier and less serious place. Itās laugh or cry after all, and we choose laughter. Thatās why our customers love our beer stubby holders, and keep on coming back for more.
Weāre a bit surprised youāre even reading this, but stubby holders are hollow, bottle-shaped moulded plastic that are used to cool drinks, usually alcohol. They use a material called neoprene, which has excellent insulation and slows the amount of cold that escapes from the bottle. Itās like a jacket if a jacket was made to cool you down, not warm you up. Or air conditioning for your booze.
Neoprene is cheap to make and is easily wrapped in cloth that can be printed on, which is why so many companies use them for their promotional materials. But theyāre usually bloody boringāwho wants a stubby holder from their local butchers? Not us. We like fun stubby holders, so we created loads of them.
The invention of the stubbie holder is shrouded in mystery, which makes them even more bloody cool. Some say that the famous stubbie holder was invented right here in good old Australia by inventor Alex Lang, in the 1960s. Lang named his product the stubby holder after our stubby bottles. Others believe that it was created by the American company Radio Cap Corporation in 1991, who were the first to use neoprene as an insulation material, and only then did it come to Australia through an improved version by Shane Walsh (not to be confused with Shane Warne). The Americans called the product a koozie, which sounds bloody daft to us.
The best way to clean your stubby holder and keep the design intact is to wash it up in the sink, making sure to rinse it properly afterwards to prevent the soap from spoiling the design.
Thereās no special way to store your stubby coolers. Just put them in a cupboard somewhere and grab them whenever you need. The only thing you shouldnāt do is put heavy things on them like baking dishes or frying pans or hunks of cured meats. This will crumple up the stubby coolers and may ruin their designs, which would be a bloody disaster.
I mean, you can take your stubby holder wherever the hell you like, but these are some of our favourite places to slot beers into them:
Yanking in a monstrous snapper just wouldnāt feel right without a chilled beer by your side.
It just isnāt possible to listen to your uncleās awful stories without drinking at least three beers.
We have over 12,000 beaches in this beautiful country, and they can be better appreciated with a cool beer in your hand. Just donāt leave your precious stubby cooler behind, for Godās sake.
You donāt have to travel far with your stubby holder. Your deck or garden will probably be where you use it the most.
when youāre putting your camper trailer to good use around some isolated Queensland lake, that scorching sun will boil your beer in minutes (probably). So make sure you take your stubby holder with you. You should probably drive back home if youāve forgotten it.
Tinkering with an engine, putting up a shelf, building a bloody dog houseāall of these things are much better with beer, especially cold beer.
We arenāt going to stand here and pretend that there are any other legitimate uses for our stubby coolers, but if youāre really bored, you can try using them for the following:
A spacious home for a small spider. It can make its web at the top of the stubby holder and catch as many delicious flies as it needs.
A handy place to store the thousands of 8mm screws youāve collected over the years.
Sound-blocking devices to prevent your partner from talking to you. Just secure one stubby holder over each ear with duct tape (yes, duct tape. You donāt want it to fall off do you?)
Our stubbie holders are made from high quality, 5mm thick neoprene synthetic rubberāa material invented way back in 1930 and known for its impressive insulating properties. Itās also nice and cheap to produce, which is why our coolers are $14.95 and not $149.95. All of our stubbie holders have glued and taped seams, are overlocked at the top and bottom, and have a strong glued-in base. Theyāll be home to many many beers over the years. But donāt take our word for itābuy one of our funny stubby holders and see how long it takes for your beer to get warm. We guarantee itāll stay cold for ages (not that youāll need it to, you filthy alcoholic).
Youāre damn right they are. Our stubby holders are designed and manufactured in our great country of Australia, by our army of comedy baboons. We are proud of our selection of beer stubby holders, and put lots of time and effort into coming up with funny, eye-catching designs. We have also honed our manufacturing process over the years and can knock out plenty of high-quality coolers for affordable prices.
Look, we donāt want to brag, but our āMaster Baiterā stubby holder is probably one of the funniest damn products youāll ever come across in your life. It appeals to blokes who love fishing andā¦other things, which is a sizable portion of Australian men, and probably some ladies too. We havenāt met any, but please pass on their numbers if you have.
Our marketing team is responsible for all of our stubby holder designs, which are composed of baboons who come up with ideas, and design baboons who are somehow able to use programs like Illustrator and Photoshop. All we need to do is give them plenty of fruits and seeds and the occasional antelope, and they keep on producing our stubby holder designs. Pretty sweet deal for everyone, if you ask us.
This has literally never happened in the years weāve been operating, but if you insist on returning one of our awesome stubby coolers, please do so within 14 days. And also donāt use the item before returning itāobviously! All youāll need is a proof of purchase. We might also provide a partial refund in some cases, so itās best to get it in touch with us to see what we can do.
The best way to complain is to drive to the nearest lake and go jump into it. Once youāre in, swim to the lowest point of the lake, where youāll find a chest in the shape of a baboon. Open the chest, and inside youāll find a stone tablet with our phone number engraved on it. Exit the lake, call the number, and make your complaint to one of our customer service baboons. Good bloody luck.
We will send you an email to reset your password
No goodies in your cart yet? Letās fill it with some bangers: